Sunday, June 5, 2011

Truth

I really wanted to keep this about my crafts.
I really wanted to start a new blog about my life events.
I really don't know what I want.
I really know I want to expand the photographer in me.

Life is passing by.  I sit on the dock and observe.  Sometimes I react to the waves.  Sometimes I walk away.  Most of the times I sit on the dock and observe.  I count the waves lapping against each other.  I watch the sun rise and set.  Most of the time I sit on the deck and observe.  Lately I've turned my back and looked the other way.  Lately I've been counting down, instead of adding.  But mostly, I've sat on the dock and observed.  The question is...what am I observing?  What is IT?  Do you know?  Would you know if you saw IT?  Felt IT? Touched IT?  Smelled IT?  I wouldn't.  I've realized i don't know anything.  I'm full. Of other's opinions, thoughts, ideas, morals, values, essence.  I'm drowning, yet I sit on the dock and observe.  Do I fight, or do I drown?

I read an article the other day about lying on the floor in a heap.  It totally resonated with me.  I've been there...many, many times.  I'm there now - to a certain degree.  I'm sitting on the dock...observing.  When I read the article I realized that being broken is a beautiful thing and I can either embrace it and stay there, or put myself together and be whole.  No more being in the middle.  No more glue.  No more putty.  When I sit on the dock and observe, I am. Whole.  I don't count, or wait, or investigate, or wish...I am. Whole.  This is where I want to be.  Whole.  Be Whole.  Complete.  Accomplished. All. Concentrated. Every.  Exclusive.  Exhaustive.  Fixed.  Fulfilled!  Gross.  Integral.  Inclusive.  In. One. Piece.  These are all synonyms of the word whole.  I just googled it.  And I'm amazed.  I want to be every single one of these words...as I sit on the dock and observe.  

I make my life so very complicated with what I think it needs to be and really, all I have to do is sit on the dock.  Chant mantras.  Observe.  This is my new goal.  Every day I will Chant my Mantra.  At least 108 times.  At least.  I Will!  The Lord's Will.  The Most High's Will.

So with this, I am going to write my blog every day, for therapeutic reasons, but also because I am talented and should share it with you.  I will expand and want you to come along, maybe I will serve you in some way.  My focus right now is expanding the photographer in me and this blog will be my outlet.

xo

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