Wednesday, April 26, 2017

For that, I'm grateful.



Perusing FB the other day, I happened upon a sponsored post by Tara-Nicholle and her one month writing invitation.
It leaped into my heart and pounced on it. I was so excited to see this, as I've been sitting with writer's block. Or perhaps it's my creativity being mischievous and evading me.
None the less, I took the leap and here we are. Every day we are offered a prompt, and it's up to us if we use the prompt or not. What matters most is that we write! Daily! We're encourage to write 750 words, or 3 pages worth.

You see, I've always written. I have journals from middle school that remind me of an innocent girl who was loving life, and boys. Who wrote every crush she ever had in middle school (3), and detailed her journey into young adulthood.

I knew something was off when I no longer had the motivation to journal, write a blog post, doodle, or paint. The goal of these 30 days is to kick my ass into high gear and take flight. To be vulnerable. To be exposed. To be raw. To be. Back to me.

For today's prompt we had 3 options - Help, Thanks, Wow.

These 3 words alone are terrifying, let alone having to write 3 pages based on one specific word, or feeling? It's deemed inappropriate to ask for anything nowadays.

It was a hard one for me - I'm late - it was yesterdays prompt.

Better late than never, I suppose.

Procrastinate much?

Some times.

Don't judge me. Or do, I don't care. You see, Tara-Nicholle has given me a hand. Her and her team are helping me out of the dark, dreary ditch I fell into. They are offering the tools, and I must do the work.

It's not that I'm afraid of the work, I'm a work horse, Kapha element is dominant within, I can go, and go, and go. Just like elephants. Jai jai Ganesha!

It's the result of my hard work, which I fear. It's the responsibility that comes with expanding beyond my limits. It's being vulnerable and showing my humanity, or lack of it. My fear is based on how I will response.

Which is truly a waste of energy because it's the journey that allows you to properly respond.

Omg - that was a light bulb moment you were just a part of, in that last sentence.

My mind likes to think 15 steps ahead and it makes me tired. It makes me lose motivation. It makes me doubt, and it's all internal.

In my head!

Gratitude calms my mind down.

I give thanks for everything, and often. I give thanks for the injury which caused me to acquire a 5mm disc protruding into my L4/L5. Without that injury, I would've never been introduced to yoga. Which has led me down this beautiful path of being a Healer.

A healer who primarily focuses on my own healing, but also aiding others in their own path. You see, I am my own healer, and you are yours.

I am grateful to have discovered a healing modality which helps so many people find their inner bliss. For being taken on the right path. For keeping my heart open, especially when it hurt. For knowing it's an illusion. For being given the gift to expose the illusion, and recreate my own.

When I first became injured, a back specialist at Cedar Sinai Hospital said, "2 out of 3 surgeons would do back surgery on you today". But since Cedar Sinai is a holistic type hospital, he prescribed walking, swimming, or doing yoga. All 3, if I should choose to do so.

This happened in 2006, a decade ago, when yoga was not on the general population map at all. Most certainly not available in the lower socio-economic area of Huntington Park, where I was residing at the time.

I went and enrolled at the local YMCA, and began swimming daily. Backstroke, specifically, to strengthen my back. I also took aqua aerobics every day, and eventually became the regular instructor. 
It was in 2008 that I was finally given the opportunity to explore yoga, which is a whole other story that I'll share later.

Had I not had that accident and injury, at that time, I would not be here now. I would be missing out on being a part of this amazing group of women chasing their dreams.

During these tumultuous times, women chasing their dreams is success in my book. For that, I'm grateful.
Namaste

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